According to Moonalice legend, the city of Baltimore now occupies the site of the ancient Middle Atlantic Pow-wow of the Moonalice tribe. That pow-wow was known for the prodigious amounts of hemp consumed over the course of a long weekend. Remarkably, one artifact has survived from the period and the city has camouflaged it as a monument to the military/industrial complex of the 19th century. The Phoenix Shot Tower is 215 feet tall and looks like the world's tallest bong, which is what it was before the locals converted it to the production of cannon balls. What a waste.

April 16 turns out to be the saint's day for St. Bernadette, the patron saint of Motown. She was also the woman whose hallucinations in 1858 put Lourdes on the map. Could it be a coincidence that exactly 85 years later, on April 16, 1943, Dr. Albert Hofmann discovered the psychedelic effects of LSD? You be the judge. If you're not sure, just take half.