According to Moonalice legend, Friday the 13th has long been a source of superstition within the tribe. In ancient times, the tribe had strict rules for Friday the 13th, mostly in the form of things to avoid. For example, work was discouraged on Friday the 13th. So was hunting for water buffalo. In time, the superstition became more nuanced as the tribe sought ways to combat the forces of darkness. Naturally, the weapon of choice for combating evil spirits was hemp. The tribe tried everything. They tried hanging a rope noose from the front door. That didn't work. Then they tried putting hemp fabric curtains over the windows. That didn't get it done either. They tried burning stems and seeds in the fireplace. No luck. Then a young tribe member in Denver, one Jason Hockeymask Moonalice, came up with a brilliant idea!!! A smoke out!!! So every Friday the 13th since then, the tribe has taken the time to smoke itself into unconsciousness. It works every time.

According to Moonalice legend, Denver was home to a 19th century criminal mastermind named Jefferson Randolph Smith II. He was known as Soapy and is no relation to Hardwood, as his story makes clear. Soapy was a con man of the first order. For 20 years, he preyed on the citizens of Denver with a variety of confidence scams. He was a major innovator in small time cons practiced on a large scale. He would go to a street corner and set up what he called a tripe and keister. Seriously. The tripe and keister was a tripod with a box on top. The box was filled with bars of soap wrapped in paper. Soapy would take a few bars and make a big show of inserting a $1, $10, and $100 bill into three of them, before rewrapping them and pretending to mix them in with other wrapped bars in the box. The audience would pay $1 or more per bar for soap that would otherwise have cost 5 cents. Soapy bought off the entire city government and wound up owning the crime business in this town. Eventually, the good citizens of Denver ran Soapy out of town. He eventually moved his operation to the Moonalice enclave of Skagway, Alaska. Soapy terrorized Skagway for a year before the tribe had enough and somebody killed him.

According to Moonalice legend, Denver was home to one of the wackier members of the tribe. Her name was Yippie-Eye-O Moonalice, she lived in this area before white people got there. And she had some very strange ideas. For example, she was a pioneer in hyperventilation. She liked the high.

It is a fact that the Moonalice tribe does not believe in judging anyone, no matter how weird. It is also a fact that the tribe has no issue with people getting high, especially in the Mile High City, where you can't help it. But Yippie-Eye-O was convinced she could do better by inhaling 60 sixty times a minute. She sounded like an overheated bulldog. But it worked for her. Fortunately, the rest of the tribe chose another path.

According to Moonalice legend, Yippie-Eye-O Moonalice eventually abandoned hyperventilation in favor of other methods. True to form, she chose her own path. She thought burning hemp was bad for the environment; she was also convinced it was fattening. So Yippie-Eye-O went organic and baked. The organic part was easy in those days, but baked required some effort. She tried everything, but in the end she just put her buds in the oven. Then she stuck her head in. That's when things started to go wrong. The rest, as they say, is legend. Earl Grey Day! Painting by Scramble Campbell (#1)