According to Moonalice legend, the town of Laytonville was founded by F.B. Layton, who opened a blacksmith shop and post office. In the early days, F.B. did a ton of business with the Moonalice tribe, when it started shipping hemp products nationwide from their farm ten miles north of town. Hemp shipping almost didn't happen. You see, the tribe had no cash. F.B. solved the problem by teaching the tribe how to make money from hemp. You see the tribe had always given away their hemp, shipping to random post offices around the country. FB explained that the tribe could get a dollar a pound for the finest buds, which would almost pay for the shipping.

According to Moonalice legend, when the tribe first came from outer space, one of the landing sites was in Mendocino County. They called it Area 101. Here's the deal. The tribe landed and immediately planted a golden seed, from which came some mighty fine bud. The evidence is everywhere

According to Moonalice legend, a local chief named John McCaffrey Moonalice ran out of hemp and was desperate for resupply. First he put up a big sign. It says: Don't Forget the Magic. Unfortunately, the sign meant nothing to hemp resuppliers. If you need hemp, the traditional signal is a sign that says "George Washington slept here." Johnnie Mac didn't know that, so he erected a toilet across the street from his shop. We have no idea what that means or what John plans to do next, but we hope you guys will take pity on him first.

According to Moonalice legend, tonight is Bonfire Night in Ireland. By tradition, you are supposed to prepare a bonfire half your height and twice as wide. It must be made of buds no more than three inches long, arranged in a parquet pattern and lit with the ceremonial moose antler. If any of you is uncertain, please consult Big Steve.