According to Moonalice legend, the tribe first settled in Long Beach thousands of years ago. The climate was perfect for hemp agriculture and way back then there weren't any white people around to mess things up. The tribe really liked it here and they maintained good relations with the local native American tribes. When white people came, they built the harbor and started shipping stuff around the world. This was the best thing that ever happened to the hemp business. In the 19th century, ships of sail depended on hemp for sails and rope, but not the flowers. So the Moonalice tribe sold rope and sails . . . and smoked everything else.

According to Moonalice legend, the Spruce Goose never should have left Long Beach. Howard Hughes gigantic flying boat lived here until 1988, when the Walt Disney Company bought it and then decided to get rid of it. Why? No one knows for certain, but the Legend suggests that Mickey and Minnie did not like the Goose's hemp-powered engines.

According to Moonalice legend, it is now August 31, which is New Year's Eve for G.E. Smith. Yesterday was New Year's Day in Ancient Egypt. It's also the first day of the rest of your life. Forget making resolutions; just enjoy yourself.

On this day in 1948, the great actor Robert Mitchum was busted for possession of marijuana. They gave him 60 days in jail. So much for making an example of Mitchum.